A mind moving forward

My mind is truly everywhere, at times I have thoughts about things I don't normally think about. It often scare me when I think about how much has changed about me and my mind since I've graduated high school. I've done some things I've Prolly would have never done, but the question is why the change in my ways. Maybe its some things that happened before that I haven't just dealt with yet or maybe some things afterward. Someone close to me told me I have abandonment issues, now that may or may not be true but I know for sure that I have some issues That I do need to work out in my mind and in my heart. I plan to go see someone about who I am because the man before you isn't the man I know. When I look in the mirror I don't see myself. Funny my God mother says the same. She says she don't recognize my facial expressions, telling me That they are void and without meaning and she's not used to looking at me like that. I try to pull myself together as much as I can but nothing seems to work. I really hope I come out of this as someone I recognize, and stop hurting people and myself.