Delirium

I feel insane
and every breath I take
seems to prove my point

Sinking further into
antisocial habits and bipolar swings
of emotion

Phantom visions are
merciless in their haunting of my mind
Taunting me with should've and would've
I can feel the anger
and the frustration with all that is
around me

The stinging in my eyes grows worse
as the Helpless and Hopeless-ness becomes greater
Consuming every fiber of my being

I am afraid
I am confused
I am hurt

Left the wonder why
I was giving these visions of animistic essence
If I am not able to fulfill them

I am tired
I am frustrated
I am sick

Pandemonium

the confusion is ever present
clouding my memories from only myself
and causing a change in demeanor
one so unlike the person i know

bad habits hard to break
good ones hard to obtain
the one's neutral make it hard to pick a side
and I'm left more confused than i was to begin with

words come out in a jumbled mess
picking them apart would take centuries
years that i don't have
and don't want

blank screens and trembling hands
thumping hearts and heavy breathing
cotton mouths and tunnel vision
reluctant limbs and mind seething

where to start?
where to end?

what to say
when there are no words

how to break the silence
slice through the absence
how to quiet the eloquence
stop displaying the impudence

broken into pieces
by a remark as cold as ice
as the person from which the words
left the fingertips and lips

bitter

like the taste of under ripe fruit
as they are prematurely plucked from their comfort
to be placed in the foulest of areas
a mouth of sin and ruin

Please Forgive Me

I know I hurt you and I feel so bad,
For saying and doing things and making you sad..
It's just that my love for you is so great,
I want to be with you forever, I just can't wait..
You are so special, one of a kind,
I could look forever and never find,
Anyone else as wonderful as you,
With such a pretty smile and do the things you do.
Please forgive me for things I said,
I love you so much, It just messed my head..
You are my life. My very breath,
I promise to love you, even after death..
So if you can forgive this warm hearted man
You'll never see that part of me again..
I'll love you and take care of you for infinity,
We'll make it, together, just you and me..

Pledge of Love

I've made a vow, to no one but you
I pledge my love to forever be true
I'll take care of you and treat you right
I'll lay beside you all through the night
I'll feed you and clothe you and keep you warm
I'll hug you and kiss you and give shelter in the storm
I'll help you and guide you and clear a path
I'll protect you and shield you from an angry man's wrath
I'll listen to your problems help you solve them too
I'll make you a rainbow and let the sun shine through
I'll take your side even if you're wrong
Just to prove our love is strong
I'll plant you flowers and make them grow
They'll be a symbol of love that only we'll know
I'll whisper your name when no one is near
So low that only you can hear
You'll feel my love even if we're apart
You'll know that we are one in heart

Perfection in my Eyes

All I ever wanted was to be part of your heart,
And for us to be together, to never be apart.

No one else in the world can even compare,
You're perfect and so is this love that we share.

We have so much more than I ever thought we would,
I love you more than I ever thought I could.

I promise to give you all I have to give,
I'll do anything for you as long as I live.

In your eyes I see our present, our future and past,
By the way you look at me I know we will last.

I hope that one day you'll come to realize,
How perfect you are when seen through my eyes.

My Sweetheart

So often when I am embracing you,
It seems that you exist in this world
only because of me and I exist because of you.

It's not easy to wander in this world
and not lose one's way,
but the greatest happiness of all
is in giving joy to one's beloved.

And if the king can have his throne,
and if the bird can have his Spring nest,
and God can have his heaven,
then I, my sweetheart, I can have you!

Love

Sometimes at night, when I look to the sky,
I start thinking of you and then ask myself, why?
Why do I love you? I think and smile,
because I know the list could run on for miles.
The whisper of your voice, the warmth of your touch,
so many little things that make me love you so much.
The way you support me, and help with my emotions,
the way that you care and show such devotion.
The way that your kiss, fills me with desire,
and how you hold me with the warmth of a blazing fire.
The way your eyes shine when you look at me,
lost with you forever is where I want to be.
The way that I feel when you're by my side,
a sense of completion and overflowing pride.
The dreams that I dream, that all involve you,
the possibilities I see and the things we can do.
How you finish the puzzle that lies inside my heart,
how that deep in my soul, you are the most important part.
I could go on for days, telling of what I feel,
but all you really must know is my love for you is real.

My Promise

When times come when you find yourself in deep trouble Like a ship lost in the mid-sea during a storm You want to cry and need a shoulder to lean on Seem hopeless and could not move on... Got no one around whom to count on. Maybe you have totally forgotten me Have given up on me for somebody Think I am useless and nothing but garbage So you shun and make a mock on me. You might be surprised when you turn your back See me smile with open arms and extended hands For unlike them whom you prefer to be with than me I'll never give up...
Nor turn my back on you. I'll be your candle To offer you light so you may not stumble I'm here always for you
Love GOD

If There's One

If there's one face I want to see, so beautiful, so true, one smile that makes a difference, to everything I do. If there's one touch I long to feel, one voice I long to hear, whenever I am happy, or just needing someone near. If there's one joy, one love, from which I never want to part, it's you, my very special love, my world, my life, my heart.

Untitled

If time could stand still, I'd freeze it here,
So you'd always hold me, close and near.
In your arms, where I'm meant to be,
Filled with the perfect love you've given me.
A bond so strong, a hold so tight,
To know you're the one; my 'Mrs. Right'.
A blessing sent from up above,
In you I've found my one true love.
Our lives entwined to be as one,
Upon this journey we've just begun.
Where you and I will find no less,
Than eternal love and happiness.

Hope of the World

Womb of the mother
In which resides the hope of the world
True paradigm of
Love
Joy
Sacrifice
Hope
Your bulging belly extends
Like the hand of God
Pushing
Stretching
Showing all of us the miracle of life.

Everything you do goes
To the child within you
You never act for yourself
Confident and
Strong
You are my hero
More powerful that any Hercules
More feminist, than any feminist
More important that any work
Do not listen to the world!
They find happiness in pleasure
But you find joy in giving
Yourself up
For another
The paradigm of
Christ
Your own belly button is highlighted
By your massive girth
Remember. remember
You once experienced this thing called birth.
Spes Mundi (Hope Of The World)

Forgiveness

If you try to reach inside of your heart you can find forgiveness, or at least the start And from that place where you can forgive is where Hope, and Love, also thrive and live And with each step that you try to take and with that chance that your heart might break Comes so much happiness, and so much strength which Alone can carry you a fantastic length For hate and anger will not get you there and though you say that you just don't care You can EASILY avoid the pain on which hate feeds . . . the kind of hurt that No one needs Just make the move, take that first stride let go of the thing known as "Foolish Pride" Maybe then you can start to repair the past into something strong, that will mend, and last! 

Forgive Me My Love

I know I fought with you without any reason forgive me my love
I know I used bitter words for you forgive me my love
I know I hurt your feelings even you were innocent forgive me my love
I know I abused you though you were right forgive me my love
I know I didn't believe you as my partner forgive me my love
I know I didn't praise your good deeds forgive me my love
I know I didn't wipe your tears when you were sad forgive me my love
I know I didn't value your love and affection forgive me my love
Now, I have realized all my mistakes that I made I promise you will never let you down again Please forgive me and come back to me

Forgive Me

Tell me what I shouldn't do, Forgive me for what I had, because I never meant to do anything, Which can make you feel sad. All your pain dear, I wished I could see, But I was too busy, just thinking of me...I'm sorry for what I shouldn't have done, Extremely sorry for everything I had, Now please tell me what I should do, To make you feel better, shed off your sad. Trust me, for every word I say is true, Just tell me and I'll do whatever I have to....Let me make it clear now, I don't care even if I have to die, But just because of me, I'll never make you wanna cry. Tell me what I shouldn't do, Please forgive me for what I had, Don't wanna hurt you again, Just let me know if I'm too bad. But forgive me please, don't be sad, don't be mad. Please....

Forgive

If I cannot forgive myself
For all the blunders
That I have made
Over the years,Then how can I proceed? How can I ever Dream perfection-dreams? Move, I must, forward. Fly, I must, upward. Dive, I must, inward, To be once more What I truly am And shall forever remain.

For You Are The One

For you I would climb
The highest mountain peak
Swim the deepest ocean
Your love I do seek.

For you I would cross
The rivers most wide
Walk the hottest desert sand
To have you by my side.

For you are the one
Who makes me whole
You've captured my heart
And touched my soul.

For you are the one
That stepped out of my dreams
Gave me new hope
Showed me what love means.

For you alone
Are my reason to live
For the compassion you show
And the care that you give.

You came into my life
And made me complete
Each time I see you
My heart skips a beat.

For you define beauty
In both body and mind
Your soft, gentle face
More beauty I'll never find.

For you are the one
God sent from above
The angel I needed
For whom I do love.

Blessed

Your words are softly spoken.
Your touch is ever so gentle and warm.
You turn and glance at me with a beauty all your own.
So just remember that I love you.

You are always with me and within me.
And you hold my essence in your soul.
I walk in your light and rest in your smile,
And just remember that I love you.

You move through my world like a cool and clear stream,
That washes over me with soothing delight.
You are the best part of all that has ever happened in my life.
So just remember that I love you.

I desire each and every embrace you ever shower me with.
And in the end, our arms will reach across and break the divide, for
It is you, being just who you are, that makes me remember,
How blessed I am, to be in love with you.

A Lover's Sorrow

Lying awake in the middle of the night.
Tears running from my eyes.
Thinking about you all the time.
I'm crying because I miss you.
I love you so much.
I don't care what other people say,
I am completely in love with you.
I wanna be in your arms sleeping,
listening to the sound of your heart beating.
I never wanna give this love up.
All these thoughts make me sleepy.
So I close my eyes,
dreaming of you with me.

Father

I never know my father, just only what I've heard from my family growing up in my young years. About how i looked like him and how he was tall and seasoned or along in years. James Young (or Jimmy is what everyone calls him) was the name i searched for over 11 yrs. Now don't me wrong people my father didn't walk out on me and my mother, no no sir, you see he passed away 4 days after my birth..... that's right I said 4 days. (Can you say DAMN). I'm not happy to say that my father was a married man when my mother got pregnant with me, Separated, Yet still married. My mother used to tell me a story of how members of his side of the family knew about me, just didn't want to come to deal with telling other family members that good ol' Jimmy had an illegitimate child in the mix somewhere. at least that's the story I was told, though later I'd find out that wasn't entirely true. I also recently found out from my mother after she cracked in tears from me asking a hell of a lot of questions and her guilt that I was just a mistake. Let her tell it she was F***ing around with a guy getting what she wanted and messed around and got pregnant. Not that she didn't want me when she found out or anything but hey i was just a mistake. Funny how i was born with almost every feature of this man except his height, even inherited his heart problems (which is the way he died btw) being born with a whole in my heart and having in normal EKG's for the rest of my life. YET not even knowing what he looks like, terrible that all the pictures and obituary that my mother had was burned in the house we had by my pyromaniac brother. SMDH. Searching for these people caused so much pain and heartache wondering why his side of the family wouldn't want me, its not like i had done anything wrong to them. but that's how people are SO I THOUGHT. Took me 11 yrs but i finally found them and lets just say the atmosphere was nothing like i expected. talk about welcomed arms. 4 brothers and a sister that I have (go figure). funny how I'm still the youngest though :-(    its kinda hard for me to get to know them the way i want, i mean i been used to not knowing them all these years ya know. lets just say we have a lot of catching up to do. Ill elaborate more on how these meetings went down but lets just say that I'm happy i finally found them. Now i mainly worry about my health fathers condition kinda sneaking up on me. thanks for reading my advocates. pls comment.