Surgeon - Ci Ci

Head Back
Eyes Closed
Deep breath
Let go
Bare with me
I'll take good care
I'm an expert
Other guys just can't compare
I'm highly recommended
Don't need a second opinion
You'll be all better (baby once I'm finished)
So be a good patient
Be patient
Stay under my observation
And holler back if you want it...

I know you never had a guy quite like me
I take a girl boy and give her cold feet

When it comes to love I'm like a surgeon
I'm a true tactician I'm a make your body better when we get in the right position
I'm a make your body jump, every time my body pumps
Until your reflexes leave you weak, my love is like anesthesia I'll rock you fast to sleep
Oh yes, I'm highly qualified, lay your head back on that pillow and relax your mind

Check calling patient numba one make sure that you sign out,
an when you're done make sure you grab a sucka on the way out the door n make your next appointment an come back and get some more

Now that you've learned, you'll be so glad you returned, open up your mouth, let me check you out.
My ears will be your stethoscope
We'll feel your vital signs and make sure your heart is beating like mine.
I appreciate your recovery time.
You'll need a physical one more time head to feet baby your just fine your my best patient and you'll never have to wait in line

That's it baby you can count on T give you everything you need, know that your body got nothing on me,
So call me in case of an emergency...

A Good Day

So today was my Momma Carol's B-Day (how old she turned don't ask lol) me and the Family went down to celebrate with her. It was nice seeing her again, she just be filled with so much joy. Not only did i get to see her but other family members as well. I got to see my niece's and nephew for the first time. I can tell Lil James and T.J are gonna be close growing up, at least imma try to keep them close like that. It still kinda irritates me that everyone got my dad's height but me (lol) but I'll get over it. I like that side of my family. Everyone is so vibrant and they seem like they like to have a lot of fun. I cant wait to spend more time with them and get to know them more, I still got 22 years to be catching up on (lol). Well that was part of my day... and must I say it was great. I pray to have more like them

Scarred

So this is still fresh in my mind from a few nights ago so i guess to get it out of my head i should write about it. I had a dream that really shook the hell out of me. me and my son were playing in my front room as normal laughing and rolling around. All of a sudden i feel this pain in my chest which caused me to lean over to try and catch my breath. Immediately my son stopped laughing as if he knew something was wrong and started grabbing me and pulling on my clothes. The more and more I tried to move I felt it harder to try and breathe. I tried to lay there and calm myself down and possibly gain control of my breathing or rhythm of my heart. by this time i could move at all and the only thing i could do was see; see the eyes of my son starring at me crying to the top of his lungs for his father to get up to the point where he's hitting me as if he thought I was sleeping. As my life was slipping away this was the only vision i had left in the world, A horrid scare and cry in the eyes of my son that lost his father.....................

My Meaning

To love is to share life together
to build special plans just for two
to work side by side
and then smile with pride
as one by one, dreams all come true.

To love is to help and encourage
with smiles and sincere words of praise
to take time to share
to listen and care
in tender, affectionate ways.

To love is to have someone special
one who you can always depend
to be there through the years
sharing laughter and tears
as a partner, a lover, a friend.

To love is to make special memories
of moments you love to recall
of all the good things
that sharing life brings
love is the greatest of all.

I've learned the full meaning
of sharing and caring
and having my dreams all come true;
I've learned the full meaning
of being in love
by being and loving with you.

My Love

My love is like an ocean
It goes down so deep
My love is like a rose
Whose beauty you want to keep.

My love is like a river
That will never end
My love is like a dove
With a beautiful message to send.

My love is like a song
That goes on and on forever
My love is like a prisoner
It's to you that I surrender.

This Time Last Year

Once when I was young, I felt so afraid
I cried myself to sleep as to my God I prayed
But as I grew older, His light seemed to dim
I walked down the valley on a road paved with sin
Everywhere that I go, every place that I look
The truth is told by liars and the law run by crooks
Every person I know who has a tale to tell
Speaks of persecution and time spent in a cell
All these false accusations just don't seem to end
If you're looking for justice, then you're lost my friend
As people will tell you, the most heinous crime
Is simply existence in the wrong place and time
Look at the sun as it falls from the sky
Only this time last year no-one thought to think why
Tomorrow looks hazy seen through tears of today
Just believe in the future; they can't take that away

Emotionally Drained

It’s a beautiful day; the sun is shining;
So why am I here constantly whining?
Raindrops are falling from inside my heart.
Slowly my whole world begins to fall apart.

My soul is too weak and too tired to fight,
Too depressed and sad to sleep at night.
My thoughts are scattered all over the place
And I can’t find a smile to wear on my face.

A great sadness has taken control of me.
I haven’t got the energy to break free.
Everything I do just makes it worse.
I’m so tired of trying to finish first.

Psychically exhausted by giving my all.
No one seems to care that I’m going to fall.
Suicidal thoughts begin to flood my brain.
I'm just so tired of the emotional drain.

Memories That Wont Fade Away

Trapped in side this box,
Trying to escape,
Look what you've done to me,
Just give me a break,

U said u love me,
But still u continue to hurt me,
What's wrong with the people in this world,
What pleasure do go u get by hurting others,
Or naming them bad words.

You don't know me,
Or what I've been through,
So why put all the blame on me,
So why criticize me,
For all the pain I've been through,
Try waking up everyday,
With memories that just wont fade away.

All the pain and emotional scars,
There hard to deal with,
Taking it out on others
Because know one knows the truth,
No one can truly understand,
Unless it happens to you,
So don't call me a trip,

Because you don't know me,
Or what I've been through,
So why put all the blame on me,
So why criticize me
For all the pain I've been through,
Try waking up everyday,
With memories that just wont fade away,

I didn't ask for any of this to happen to me,
People are so dark and cruel,
The same thing has happened to others,
Like at school,
So why me?
You treat me like I'm a disease.
I had no control over what others did,
So let me be me,
Instead of the hopeless little boy
That everyone makes me out to be,
Please help me through this and just stop judging me,

Because you don't know me,
Or what I've been through,
So why put all the blame on me,
So why criticize me
For all the pain I've been through,
Try waking up everyday,
With memories that just wont fade away.

In Your Hands

These feelings surge within me.
You can find me here my head against the wall
And every time I fall you catch me in your hands.

Only to let me fall again.
Why does this happen.

I'm lost in my regret

But there a promise from heaven a promise from you a promise of love.

God of all I'm crying out to you tonight if you there and if you care come and wash my Sins away if you dare.

Stare into my soul oh creator please never let me go

Anger

This ill temper I have is making me mad
I blow up and I don’t know why
I wish for just a moment I could handle my anger right
I wish for just a moment I could love you right
I wish my attitude would just go away
I wish my anger would stay at bay
This outlook I have on life needs to change
This outlook I have you needs to say the same
I love you deep down inside
I wish you would see
That you’re the only princess for me

The anger I have deep in side
Comes out when I least expect it
This anger I have in me should just go away
This anger I have is an annoyance
This anger I have has messed my life up
This anger I have is stupid
Anger you have messed up my love for you
Anger you have messed up my life
Anger you have destroyed who I am inside and out
Anger you are the devil
Anger you are all that is bad
This anger I have in me has made me fight
A fight that was not worth it

Anger you made me hit the wrong person
Anger you made me do the wrong things
Anger you are the feeling that I would never miss
Anger you have caused me so much sorrow
Anger you have caused nothing but grief.
Anger just go away

Assurance

If you think you are beaten, you are;
If you think that you dare not, you don't;
If you'd like to win and you think you can't
It's almost certain that you won't.

If you think you'll lose, you've lost;
For out in the world you'll find
Success begins with a fellows will -
It's all in the state of mind.

If you think that you are out-classed, you are;
You've got to think high to rise;
You've got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win a prize.

Life's battles don't always go
To the stronger or faster man;
But sooner or later, the man who wins
Is the man who thinks he can.

NERD!!!!

So... anyone who really knows me knows i have a nerdy side. Especially for things like electronics. For those of you who know phones know that the HTC HD2 is a WM device, after a few days of search and trial and error i was able to load Android software on it only bug was when i tried to make a call the person on the other end sounds like a robot>>>guess that droid shit is real<<<< but i know there is a way too fix it and after 2 days I'm a lil tired of dealing wit it.... ill get back to it soon though cuz I'm determined to make this happen. pray for me y'all.....

HOW?

How could you say those things to me? The ones that hurt the most, that hit home hard like a reckon ball. The ones that pierce the soul and emotions of something that was once there. People say sticks ad stones... Fuck that words do hurt. Not only do they hurt they change things. The way you feel bout yourself, things and others. Makes me feel down and out only to notice that this is how you really feel about me and this situation... Therefore what shall I do.. Your words describe it all..