Not Required

I complete my ritual 
and watch blood run down the drain 
Waiting, just waiting 
for it to release my pain 

I find that my cuts 
aren't healing as they once were. 
I feel the blood leave my body 
and I thought I was so sure. 

I think about how she hurt me 
and blink away the tears. 
I know if someone found the cuts 
they'd think of my in fear. 

Confessing my lack of love 
to those who do not mind 
Hating myself for knowing 
I've put them in a bind. 

I know this habit is bad 
but it's the only thing that helps. 
And even when I do it 
I feel my heart melt. 

Hate rushes through me 
as I think of what I've done. 
For those who do not know me 
could do nothing but shun. 

I just want you to look at me 
and think of me as a child. 
The one you never had 
to think of all the while. 

This thing I've become 
acustom to brings me 
one step closer to death. 
But then just maybe you would see. 

I've always needed you 
And you never needed me.