A New Life

I've been sitting around this life for years,
Not enough laughs and too many tears.
Trying to figure out where it all went,
These wasted years that I have spent.

Searching for something to go beyond,
Life's a stone skipping across a pond.
At the last skip, it hits with a splash,
Down the stone sinks, gone in a flash.

Pushing and pulling, it's tearing apart,
Poking and prodding an underused heart.
This dark velvet curtain that hides my soul,
Living this life has taken it's toll.

In a flash of bright light, the curtain is torn,
Tumbling down all tattered and worn.
Revealing new life, a child within,
Born free of hate, of suffering and sin.

Now my eyes see what has never been told,
Striving forth happy, confident and bold.
Into a world that's unfamiliar but friendly,
Into this new life my spirit will send me.

Living and laughing, loving it all,
I stood myself up and answered the call.
The darkness has gone, replaced by the light,
I gave up the darkness with hardly a fight.

I've been sitting around this life for years,
With laughter aplenty and hardly a tear.
Now I can see just where it all went,
Cherish every moment of this new life I've spent.

You Loved Me

I haven't seen you in a while
I haven't seen your smile
The one who lured me with her charms
is not with me, but in another's arms
Now what am I supposed to do?
I can't think about the good times
when you spoke the lover's lines
I can't think at all tonight,
I just wonder why?
Why do you love him and not me?
I love you, don't you see?
These thoughts cloud my mind
Did our love make me blind?
I just lay here because I can't sleep
Thinking of promises you couldn't keep
What did I do that changed your heart?
What was it that brought us apart?
I think of the words you whispered
The ones that no one else would hear
now those words are whispered to him
Words that in my heart i held so dear
You knew I loved you
I thought you loved me too
But when I see you with him,,
it makes me remember
how things used to be
When you said you loved me.

Love S.O.S

Onto the sea
I sailed my boat
And prayed that it
Would stay afloat

From dawn til dusk
From dusk til dawn
In search of love
I drifted on

What happened then
I don't recall
I think it was
A sudden squall

For when I awoke
I thought I died
At the sight of an angel
At my side

But lucky for me
That was not true
For I found love
And love was you.

I can't make you love me

Turn down the lights
Turn down the bed
Turn down these voices
Inside my head
Lay down with me
Tell me no lies
Just hold me close
Don't patronize
Don't patronize

'Cause I can't make you love me
If you don't
You can't make your heart feel
Something it won't
Here in the dark
In this final hour
Imma lay down my heart
And feel the power if you want
No you won't

I'll close my eyes
Then I won't see
The love you don't feel
When you're holding me
Mornin' will come
And I'll do, I'll try
Just give me till then
To give up this fight
And I will give up this fight

'Cause I can't make you love me
If you don't
You can't make your heart feel
Somethin it won't
Here in the dark
In these final hours
I will lay down my heart
And feel the power if you want
No you won't

A Death On Its Way

My death it is coming soon
I can feel it in the air
And I know that I will not be missed
Even when I am lying there.
I have tried the best in this life
And I helped out all that I could
But when it came my time for help
I looked around, and no one stood.
I don't know who I am anymore
I know that I just don't belong
So when I leave this world I wont care
Because I believe my living was all wrong.

My death it is in my dreams
So in reality I am dying everyday
I have pleaded and begged to everyone
Even to GOD I fell to my knees to pray.
I wished that I would be missed before I was gone
I wished someone in myself, would just believe
But all I hear is that I didn't miss much in this life
But they never had to plead, what about me.
If I were someone else it would be a different story
Their life and memories wouldn't be at the end
Someone would be there for them each and everyday
And everywhere they look, they would see a friend.

My life is coming to an end
Everyday I feel the coldness that much more
Now overtime that I look, I am alone
As no one sides with me, no one has done before.
Why must one person in life be treated so bad
Why must his dreams and wishes be washed away
Is everyone else wishes more important that is
Should his dreams and wishes be all erased.
I am told to wish and dream what others expect
Even if its the dreams and wishes that others had
But then all theirs smiles have been from yesterday
And yesterday was the time that made me glad.

My life is almost at its end
I can feel the people walking on my grave
And one thing I do know, it is I will be replaced
And truly I wish everyone a happier and peaceful day.
So why must I be treated the way that I am
I truly do try my best to help people in this life
To see them smile and not to hurt anyone
What wrong could be worth that simple price.
So I wish my life was a better time
I wish and pray that all treated me like a friend
And I wish I wasn't used or took advantage of
And sadly, I wish that my life wasn't coming to its end.
MBADND

The Funeral

when I'm buried

The hole for me could be dug,

and then covered

Will you be there,

watching my casket be lowered

into the ground?

Apart from my family,

who will attend to pay their respects?

Maybe those who believe I had an impact

on their life

will come

and grieve.

Will you cry tears for me?

Wipe them away.

You have your life to live.

All I ask is that you remember me.

I will not hold it against

whoever may not be there.

What do I care?

I'm dead.

My feelings cannot be hurt.

All those years, I worked so

hard

And now someone will do the same

for me. For my funeral.

Please, whoever the message is for

I don't want plastic flowers.

They will blow in the wind.

It's a pain to clean them up.

Will there be a crowd at my final goodbye?

When my eulogy is prepared,

write it the way I would like;

funny one liners.

Leave my funeral now,

whoever has come.

I'm trying to rest

Almost Over

CHANGE- a change is going to come, at least that's what I keep hearing people say; but tell me when is that change supposed to make its mark on my life. Maybe the change I want to happen requires me to make a great decision. I'm on a mission now a mission for happiness. there are so many people out there talking bout all I want is for you to be happy. That's bullshit because a lot of those fuckers are the ones causing me to be unhappy. if its not one thing its a-fuckin-nother. then when a brotha speaks his mind like everyone keeps telling him. muthafuckas wanna have an attitude. i have held so much shit trying to make others happy and shit got a nigga walking on eggshells trying to be the most understanding guy in the world. a lot of people used to tell me i was mean. but i honestly don't see that shit. so much shit has been going on and i ALSO let so much shit happen to me and people say so much shit without me doing anything i feel i haven't been mean @ all or not enough. Because people still believe that can do what the fuck they want to me and say what the fuck they want to me and I not do anything. To be honest yes I've been sitting back letting people do shit for certain reason but people starting to get carried away with some of they shit.

If you thought I was mean before, Just wait.....
I wonder how long will it take for y'all to understand what you all are about to do to me,,,, everyone who reads my blog and trust i know who does because it tells me. start to notice my change and don't get mad when its not something you want. but trust me when I say this it'll all be over soon, will you all miss me....Just remember if you attend Remember to say good things.